Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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