The maid of honor just puked.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
