Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
