Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
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You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
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Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!