I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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