She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Randomize
