i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
