We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
