I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
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You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
This baby is an asshole
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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