all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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