take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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