he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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