my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Still dying that you shit outside
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
