His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize
