You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
