I want to stick my p in your. b.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
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