don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
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