I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize