I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
