I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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