At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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