I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
