No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
This is the high leading the old right now
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
