She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
