So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
