why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
