I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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