I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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