We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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