Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
