I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
