I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
