Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
