That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
