She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
