Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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