wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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