oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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