I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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