Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
