What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
