keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize