my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We just shotgunned beers for America
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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