He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize