Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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