I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
