will power is for people who don't want to get laid
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
