Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
