we have pet lesbian snakes
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
