Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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