if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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