i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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