He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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