craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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