oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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