He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
