We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
