I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
