The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Can I color on your dick again?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
