I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
