Me too!
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
