First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
