we have officially lost it.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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