well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm like, not good at living.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
