hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
