Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
