So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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